Matt Redman’s story of how he came to write “Heart of Worship” is pretty well-known. He began to realize that music, as great as it was, was actually keeping people from understanding and engaging in a worshipful life. Music was becoming an idol of sorts. So he led his church to fast from musical worship. He did not end the ministry of musical worship. But the fast brought perspective, simplification, and clarity. I wonder if we resonate with this story so much because it hits so close to home.

I am two months into a part-time church position. Two months. Part-time. Already I feel the pressure of doing more, putting in hours (which is not a problem), event planning, etc. And I am not even in an “event-driven” church/ministry. Why do I feel this pressure? Why is putting this pressure on myself my default mode? Why do I feel that ministry, even in its simler forms, is so complicated?

For this reason, I am drawn to the spiritual discipline of fasting. When we fast from food, we become more aware of our weakness, God’s goodness, and His presence with us (and of course much more). When we fast from TV or noise, we discover time and silence. It become easier to hear, things become simpler, and the silliness of the things that consume our lives are often exposed. When we fast from buying, our selfishness and materialism become keen. Money looses much of its power and the joy of giving bubbles to the surface of our hearts and minds.

So what about “church”? Can we fast from the craiziness of it all? And in the fast can we discover time? silence? and why we do all the things we do? Can we dig down to the deeper things- mission. spiritual transformation. community. love. ??? And can these things reveal to us the silliness of so much of our church calendar? Do some of us need to fast- and in the fast find simplification, perspective, and clarity?

What a fascinating question!

I am just starting to catch up on the thought and conversation that is happening around this question. I have witnessed so many churches struggle to engage in local mission. And have wondered why do we struggle at something that is at the core of God’s call on our lives. Maybe it has a lot to do with this missiology/ecclesiology question. What a tradgic and ironic thing it would be if our ecclesiology was actually hindering our missiology! And as someone with the heart of a church-planter, I am fascinated by the idea of what would happen to our ecclesiology if we put missiology first.

Anyways, there is a lot to catch up on and learn first. I am aware of people/authors such as Hirsch, Frost, Newbegin, and Wright. If anyone has some good books or articles, shoot them my way. Thanks.

So much to do, if you only knew
The to-do lists, and second shifts

Be still my soul, God is near

Meetings to make, Leaves to rake
Kids to drive, and dinner by five

Be still my soul, God is near

Noise in my mind, and time I cannot find
There is life to do, if you only knew

Be still my soul, God is near

Church done by 8, it better not run late
There is homework to write, I need this night

Be still my soul, God is near

An hour I am giving, but then I must go on living
For with out me, the world would cease to be

Be still my soul, God is near

Be still my soul, for God is near
Be still my soul, and do not fear
Be still my soul, for God is HERE.

–

So do not worry, and do not hurry
For time is in His hands
And tonight is in His plans

Just be still my soul, For God is Here.

Come, and let your soul be still
For there are chains and pains that kill
But Freedom in His Will
So come, lay down the bonds that bind
And worries that fill the mind
And in the stillness find

That God is here.

The Creator of all things
And King of all Kings
To Whom angels sing

God is here

Yahweh, All in All
Redeemer of the Fall
Who Whispers when He calls

God is here

The One full of Light
Who gives blind souls sight
And makes all things right

God is here

To the One who sits upon the throne
Yet has made Himself known
And calls us His own

This God is here

Our God is here
So let us draw near
And into heaven peer

And as we see the angels gathered round
And listen to their heavenly sound
In this chorus may we too be found

The other night a group of us gathered together to begin planning/dreaming about creating an alternative worship experience at our church. There was no real goal or vision for the service, but our heads were filled with ideas that are often called emergent/participatory/experiential. Part of this gathering we thought ought to include “stations” where people could go individually or in groups to worship in ways other than song. For example, we are planning on having a map of the world at one station where people can pray for countries/missionaries/etc. and a communal prayer journal at another station.

One of the underlying thoughts behind these stations is trying to engage the whole person, including the senses, in worhsip and prayer. This idea inspired one of the stations to be a well-disguised oscillating fan that had various scripture describing God’s Spirit as wind. As I sit here, I think about how powerful it could be to be kneeling before God, meditating on God’s Spirit, as a gentle wind blows against my skin. And there is a huge part of me that is incredibly excited for this upcoming time of worship. But I am also torn. In our planning and excitement, are we substituting fans for the Holy Spirit? Not to upset some of my brothers and sisters, but are we exchanging candles for the Real Thing?

Help me with this. Part of me reads scripture and understands how wind (or translated to a candle) can be symbolism for the presence of God’s Spirit. It can be metaphor, or point to something beyond itself. Obviously, the Holy Spirit is not a fan or a candle. But as I read ‘Our Story’ it seems to me that when people came together to worship they did not need fans or candles. They prayed, repented, proclaimed the gospel, broke bread, and waited on God. And He showed up. Do we need these things because too often times we lack the Real Thing? There is this nagging feeling in me that if we regularly had communion with God’s Spirit as we gathered, we would not have to bring fans into the sanctuary.

As with most things in life, I am sure this is not an either/or conversation. But as powerful as kneeling before God with a fan blowing against your skin could be, how much more powerful could kneeling before God and waiting for the reality of His Spirit be?

Options for my first entry:

1)  Spend a few days trying to think of something really impressive and/or theologically profound.

2) Come up with some sort of clever introduction for my blog

3)  Announce some sort of event that I would like to be identified with to ensure some sort of missional/emergent/green association

4) Come to grips with the fact that no one is really reading this and that I should be spending my time doing something more productive